The Advantages Of Snoring
The British Snoring Association describe snoring as being a result of sound vibrations of the soft palate and other tissues in the mouth, nose and throat region; turbulences inside the airway caused by a blockage or restriction in the nasal, mouth or throat. The blockage leads to the turbulent breathing which causes the vibrating tissue; as you are asleep your muscles cannot control the vibrations you end up snoring like a hog. Simple remedies for snoring include raising the top of your mattress or ensuring you buy a firm mattress that will support your posture. Now, although they say snoring can be annoying and has been known to break up marriages, there are many advantages to snoring.
Firstly, when you come home drunk, much to the annoyance of your partner, and pass out your snoring is an indication that you are in fact still alive and that you haven’t fallen unconscious or choked on you vomit.
Secondly, its is estimated around 15 million people in the UK snore leading to the thought that perhaps we are meant to snore and in fact you non-snorers are the freaks!
Thirdly, enjoy having the bed to yourself? Instead of politely telling your partner to shift it to the spare bedroom just take up snoring, give it a week and you’ll be in separate beds with no hurt feelings!
Fourthly, annoying neighbors in the flat next door, your nightly snores will get payback guaranteed- no repercussions ensured, you can’t help if you were blessed with a wonky beak can you?! For a truly earth shattering snore make sure you sleep on your back, that’ll teach them! Fifthly, call us vain but there is something quite satisfying knowing that you make an impact on the world even when you’re sleeping!
Sixthly, why be ashamed of a habit that you share with some of the greatest leaders that have ever existed; the celeb snoring gang includes famous names such as Winston Churchill, Franklin Roosevelt, Queen Victoria, Abraham Lincoln, pint-sized actor Tom Cruise, screen legend Elizabeth Taylor and funny-man Billy Connelly.
Seventhly, early primitives used snoring as means to scare away predators whilst they sleep; the modern man uses it to scare ugly one night stands away.
On a final note it is worth pointing out that the majority of people do not actually know they snore leading to the somewhat irrational theory that perhaps the 14 million of us who do snore are only aware of this factor because of a whining partner, the rest of the population probably do snore but it has not yet been brought to their attention, leaving them to live in blissful ignorance. So in conclusion we snorers aren’t all that bad, going by the evidence it is in fact a sign of excellence and a primitive skill that can be utilized in the trickiest of situations. We should be celebrating snorers instead of forcing them to wear unattractive nasal strips or lie atop uncomfortable orthopaedic pillows. Anyone for a National Pro-Snoring Week?
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